Category Archives: Mark Henry

World Wreslting Entertainment (WWE) superstar Mark Henry is a scary man, seriously, if I saw him running anywhere near me, I’d fire enough tranquilizers into him to put a horse into a coma; just in case I was the target of his charge. Once he woke up, I’d hand him his enlistement papers, because we need a man like him on the front lines of the bald army. The former Olympic weightlifter, turned professional wrestler, turned strongman competitor, turned professional wrestler again; has had an up and down career, but a successful one none-the-less. In his 15+ years in the public eye, he’s been touted as “The World’s Strongest Man”, “Sexual Chocolate”, has (as part of a fake storyline…I hope) impregnated a 70 year old woman who gave birth to a hand (seriously, look it up), won the 2002 Arnold Classic Strongman Competition, and most recently won the WWE World Heavyweight Championship; he’s done it all while losing his hair too. He never had the strongest hairline, and he covers it up now with cornrows, but if you look at some “then and now”s, you can tell that his hairline is receding across the board. He went from a five-head to at least a six-and-a-half-head…but who cares, he’s a 400+ wrecking ball with good cardio, I dare you to make fun of Sgt. Mark Henry of The Bald Army’s hairline. Welcome aboard Mark!