Category Archives: Ryan Giggs

Easily the most decorated footballer in the history of the English Premier League, Ryan Giggs of Manchester United is also one it’s best at hiding his baldness…wait, another soccer player? I thought I told you about this…wait, and he cheats on his wife too !? I’ve never been to England (I will only go when our government sacks up and invades those limeys…not permanently of course, just to prove we can), but apparently all its athletes are adulterers who refuse to admit they’re bald. Giggs reportedly spent over 30 thousand pounds on hair treatments, including buying his own Tricostym machine (it massages the scalp with lasers and promote new hair growth), in an effort to return his noggin to its former glory. He was once known for his full head of black hair, but saw the development of a bald spot and hairline recession as he got into his thirties. Recently though, he’s been seen with pretty much a full head of hair, leading everyone to realize that he’s getting treatments. He obviously won’t be allowed into the Bald Army because of his efforts to deny his bald status…and because he’s a bad husband…soccer’s boring.