Category Archives: Stephen Ireland

Let’s set something straight, The Bald Master General is not a fan of soccer. I’ve tried to be nice and call it “football”, but I don’t enjoy it; Americans suck at it; and if I see one more poor excuse for a baldie come across my desk wearing a soccer jersey, I’m going to bicycle kick someone right between the ole’ goal posts. This brings us to today’s subject, English Premier League and Scottish Premiere League attacking mid-fielder Stephen Ireland. Ireland started going bald at a young age, seeing very legitimate recession in his hairline by the time he was in his early twenties; he had combated this by getting a very obvious hair transplant. One day he was balding, then the next he had longer hair, not exactly subtle. Then do you know what he did folks? After betraying his baldness, he went and tried to revert back to our side by showing up at training camp after giving his head a clean shave…not cool Stephen. We don’t want you back, the damage has been done. Application to the Bald Army: DENIED!