It takes a real man to handle the pressure of leading a New York sports franchise; a real bald man. It takes an even manlier, and and an even balder man though, to have led the 1994 New York Rangers NHL Team to a Stanley Cup Championship. Does this epically manly and epically bald man exist? Yes, yes he does; and his name is Mark Messier. He led the blue shirts to their first Stanley Cup in 54 years, breaking “the curse” and putting New York Hockey back on the map. He also won 5 other Stanley Cups as a member of the Edmonton Oilers (where he played alongside Wayne Gretzky), won 2 Hart Trophies (NHL MVP), kissed Daisy Fuentes on national television when it was still cool to kiss Daisy Fuentes, finished his career as second all-time in NHL points scored, and earned the nickname “The Messiah”! Before you ask the question, I will give you the answer: NO! There isn’t much more that a bald man can do to dominate life than what Mark Messier has done, but he found a way. That “way” is by showing up in the epically weird picture of he and Gary Coleman we have posted below. Mark Messier: He’s bald, and he rules.