-
Recent Posts
- Now He’s Bald: Steve From Blues Clues
- Dennis Franz: NYPD Bald
- Peter Berg: Another Talented Bald Director
- Another Bald Thespian: John Malkovich
- George Foreman: Bald Boxing Legend
- Joss Whedon Needs To Avenge His Hairline
- Mark Texiera: Balding Baseballer
- Ray Allen: He Got Game…But He Doesn’t Have Hair
- Fred Durst: Limp Baldzkit…That’s Not Funny
- Rob Corddry: Another Talented Bald Guy
- If They Were Bald: Jennifer Lopez
- Jim Rash: A Very Talented Bald Man
- Robbie Williams: UK Star Is Losing His Locks
- Andy Roddick Is Going Bald
- Stone Cold Steve Austin: Scary Wrestling Bald
- Screw Little Mac; I Always Root For Bald Bull
- Kiefer Sutherland: Jack Bauer Goes Bald
- Dr. Phil: Bald…Ugh, He’s The Worst
Tag Archives: NFL
Bad Bald Ideas: Jerry Rice’s Rows
Sometimes even the best of us make really bad decisions, especially when trying to hold on to our youth; despite being perhaps the greatest player in NFL history, Jerry Rice is no exception. Known primarily for his ultra-successful years as a member of the San Francisisco 49ers’ dynasty team; Rice also had a late career resurgence with the Oakland Raiders, and it was during this time that he committed hair-suicide. Already very balding, with a hairline that was nearing the mid-point of his head, Rice decided that the best way to keep up with all the youngsters around him was to corn-row his hair…it didn’t go well. Have you ever seen someone with cornrows that start that far back? They look less like hair, and more he’s being jumped from behind by millipedes. He actually held onto the look for a while, which is more a testament to his will than any of his all-time records. These days, he keeps his head shaved, or bought millipede-repellent, so he’s welcome to join The Bald Army whenever he pleases. Good job correcting your mistakes Ranger Rice.
Bill Belichick Wins Games; Loses Hair
Bill Belichick is the Bill Belichick of NFL head coaches, that’s how great he’s been in his tenure with The New England Patriots. Belichick took a team that had never won squat and has led them to 5 Super Bowl appearances. He turned a team no one was ever concerned with into an all-time great NFL franchise. Now you’d think that the kind of pressure one finds himself under when coaching at that high of a level would make his fall out like wildfire, but it hasn’t. Oh don’t get me wrong folks, Belichick has lost some hair, but it’s not nearly as bad as you would think. This probably has something to do with his focused, yet laid back style of dealing with the business of coaching football. Bill Belichick lives and dies with every play his team makes, but he never seems to let it get to him, and that’s a great way to stave off stress-related hairloss. I’m sure that at some point, age and stress will finally catch up to him and he’ll go legit bald (as opposed to the recession he sees now), and that point…Bill will still not be invited into The Bald Army. Bald Master General is a Giants fan folks, so nuts to Belichick and his calm nerves and nice hair.
Matt Hasslebeck: NFL All-Bald
Matt Hasslebeck is the very talented, and very bald Quarterback of the Seatle Seahawks. With multiple playoff appearances, multiple Pro-Bowls, an All-Pro Team appointment, and a trip to the Super Bowl on his resume, he’s made his name as one of the premiere players if his generation. However, that’s not exactly why we here at bald celebrity have so much love for him. You see, plenty of NFL players have putup great stats and lists og accomplishments, but very few have done while very unapologetic-ly going bald. There’s never a time in his career where I remember Matt having hair; he’s always had the “horshoe”look , and has never done a thing to stop it. He’s done adds for supplements, been on ESPN, and even got a “Got Milk” ad; all with the head of hair of your Uncle Earl. So congrats Matt, you’re our favorite All-Pro, and everyone’s favorite All-Bald.
Hines Ward: Bald WR, Even Balder Dancer
Hines Ward of The Pittsburgh Steelers and “Dancing With The Stars” is a triple threat; he can score touchdowns, dance the night away to celebrate, and he’s bald! The Superbowl MVP and All-Pro Wide Receiver almost always has a stocking cap on his head when you see him on the sidelines, and he shaves his head bald religiously, so it’s hard to tell if his baldness is voluntary, or genetic. However, if you look closely at pictures of him taken during training camp, you can see the faint shadow of his hair, and it’s not covering his entire head. From the looks of it, Hines’ hairline is very receded, going back past the halfway point on top of his head. Like I said before, Hines does a fine job of consistently putting a razor to his dome in order to avoid five o’clock shadow, so his male pattern baldness rarely gets noticed, but it’s happening for sure. He also is half Korean and is missing the ACL in one of his knees, which means that Hines can be a spokesman for bald men, South Korea, and ligament deficient people (options folks!) Hines Ward: representing one-legged, bald Asian men proudly.
